Jingle Bells, Jingle All The Way

I’m almost done  wrapping my Christmas presents. The weather is slowly getting cooler. All Fridays and weekends of December are scheduled for parties and get togethers. And yet….

….the festive mood wanes the moment I lay to bed. Christmas carols  are palliative to my weary senses only for a fleeting time.  Holiday decor and ornaments are a feast to my sight, but turn otherwise the very minute I close my eyes and go to sleep. I’m always looking forward to see old friends, even for just once a year – but I go home with a heavy heart knowing it’ll take another 365 days to see them again….

Sigh.

Despite all these….Christmas is still my favorite time of the year.

Maybe I am getting old. Real old.

Tower of Babel

Don’t you find it quite frustrating that even if you speak the same language, it is still difficult to understand, especially when one refuses to listen.

And the more discouraging it becomes when the one who decides to listen, seemed to filter what they wanted to hear.

Sadly, it happens. Most of the time.

Things I Learned (While not Blogging)

A thousand and one unwritten words. A seemingly endless emotional roller coaster ride, up, down, up and down again. Memories of traveling with good people and friends. An attempt to resolve an alleged conflict at work. Oh well, it’s been ages since I’ve neglected this blog. It’s been months since this spot ceased to be an emotional punching bag. And to my surprise, wordpress has a new look….from my dashboard. So let me not bore you with the blow-by-blow account of what’s happening in my life the past decades (as it may seem to me).

For the past months, I’ve learned that: 

• Losing somebody is still as painful as letting somebody go. Then how you’d wish that the person is just somewhere else than dead.
• Family members and relatives are like falling leaves. They wither each and every time you remember to count.
• From time to time, your tear ducts start to fill when you suddenly realize you’re missing the one who just left.
• This year, I’ve traveled to four countries three times in a row. Though this has depleted my wallet and a bulk of my savings, the memories and the bonding moments with wonderful people can never be replaced. 
• Sometimes, you’ll never know who’s back stabbing you. It’s like looking for a needle in a haystack, blindfolded. And I find it hard to trust people, especially in the corporate world. 

Ok, so there.  Does it make any sense at all? 

Bloodstains

They say blood is thicker than water, but then I realize, there are times when you’d prefer water over blood when your so-called “family” inflicts deep wounds into your skin.

And even if these wounds heal, traces of the trauma are still there….bloodstains and all.

ICU

This blog is fighting to survive. And it badly needs rehabilitation.

But it will come to life soon.

Really really soon.

Once a Blogger…

Some friends consistently ask why do I blog, while some would put up a baffled face because they have no idea what the hell “blogging” is all about. Some just find it quite an absurdity to spend hours typing away those thoughts and still remain anonymous in this infinite world wide web.

I still find blogging, like most of us do, an outlet to let go of all those unspoken thoughts. There are times when, the blogger in me turns out to be different from who I am in the real world, maybe because blogging stirs up an uncharted side of my being.

For a while, I was this close to quitting. Obviously, my previous post was more than a month ago. But hell did I realize blogging is already a part of my system. For so many mundane reasons, my drafts remained unpublished, some even landed in the trash bin.

There must be something about today that I decided to post again, regardless if it makes sense or not. Well I guess, once a blogger, always a blogger. And I really do hope I’m back.

Hello dear bloggers….it’s been a long time….really.

 

Gone “Downloading” for the Weekend

This week’s been one frenzy week to start with.

First, after hounding PLDT people everyday to get my DSL connection back, after threatening that I’d cancel my DSL subscription because of poor, sluggish service (as if this threat would make a difference) my internet connection was finally restored yesterday. Okay, that is after more than two weeks of mad calls with their call center and after sending a couple of emails to their customer service supervisor to express my frustrations on how poor their service are, they finally gave in. Whew.

Then just in time for my DSL resurrection, I bought a new gadget…..the iPod Touch. Since I cannot afford (just yet) the iMac desktop or even the Macbook, I opted to buy the “cheapest” apple gadget that would basically suit my needs….wireless internet connection, music storage and photo files among others.

 

Okay, I’m now a self confessed mac lover. I should’ve started using apple way back but well, it’s never too late. Someday I will get that Mac air! I like!

In the meantime, I’m quite engaged downloading songs to fill up my iTouch…so maybe it’ll take a while ’till my next post. Lol.

Good thing it’s a holiday tomorrow! Weeee!