Don’t you find it quite frustrating that even if you speak the same language, it is still difficult to understand, especially when one refuses to listen.

And the more discouraging it becomes when the one who decides to listen, seemed to filter what they wanted to hear.

Sadly, it happens. Most of the time.

With hair set on curlers, a new top and  a favorite pair of slip-ons I drove to church and arrived 10 minutes before it started. I listened quite endearingly as the mass went on for about an hour.

Then I dashed off to the grocery for a quick errand and returned home just in time for dinner. As I change to a more homey garb, I looked at the mirror and felt good at the reflection I just saw.

Perhaps, spending time preparing for Sunday mass just helps you feel good about yourself.

Have a good week ahead. I hope to have a good one too.

A laid back, not-your-usual kind of cafe.  If you’re a fast-paced highly engaged individual, this place is not for you. Orders take time as Van Gogh prepares the dishes with utmost passion. You bus your own table. You ring the bell by  the kitchen window if you need something else. You write your orders and tally your own bill on a piece of paper. Just a few of Van Gogh’s house rules –  breaking it won’t land you in jail, but do so at your own risk.

Organic teas are served based on your mood preference, on a teapot of your choice. Banana, Avocado, Mango, Spanish plum, Mint, Ginger, Guyabano flavors. All these are natural remedies for your weary senses.

Mismatched pieces of furniture are a perfect visual delight. Works of art adorn the walls creating an impression of unrivaled craftsmanship.

And there’s my favorite curse wall – painted in red, I call it the freedom wall because you can write and vent and curse all you want. Release your anger, frustrations, what-have-yous. A perfect emotional punching bag for those who are having a bad hair day.

Every visit is a feast to my taste buds. The owner  is patient and accommodating enough to explain how each food on the menu helps produce certain hormones on your body that could help you beat stress, anxiety and a whole lot more.   This particular dish beats depression – Larry Flynt’s Cabbage Experience. Freshly boiled cabbage, dried fish, salted eggs together with fresh fruits of the day complemented by a special sauce turn into an ultimate fusion of flavors I never thought would taste good together.

We seek refuge here for a quick respite from the toxic corporate world. But intentions of a short stay are almost always extended to long hours of conversations over a cup of tea, or rather “cups of tea” At times,  we relish moments of just sitting there, in tranquil solitude, in the presence of dear friends who are equally immersed in their own private thoughts, unwary of everything else outside.

It is also the best place to cap a tiring day. Conversations with Van Gogh (the owner) are also as splendid – from his travel adventures to insights about how his bipolar brain works. Devoid of traditional business goals, he set-up the cafe not to gain profit, but to fulfill his passion of  providing food that leaves you happy and in good spirits. He is also generous to give complimentary food on some days. He creates the place where disorder becomes an orderly thing.

I wish for the place to stay the way it is. A quaint, unconventional haven for those who lust for something unusually pleasant. A place not so crowded, far and safe from the claws of commercial greed.

Ok – so here’s the place I’m so raving about :

Van Gogh is Bipolar Living Space/Art Gallery Cafe – 154 Maginhawa st., Sikatuna Village (inner courtyard)

Open from 5pm onwards, open for lunch on Saturdays and Sundays.  Closed on Tuesdays.

Search Facebook for its official page.

Screaming in the silence of her thoughts. Pallid in the wake of everything that surrounds her. She runs. She scrambles. She feels the presence of a maelstrom brewing. Cries resonating from afar continue to haunt her, the farther she runs, the nearer she hears. 

Ruins of the past flicker. And all the more it reverberates….RUN! RUN! RUN!!! She leaped and bellowed real hard, hoping that all these exist only in the deep recesses of her consciousness. But no, it is hounding, hunting her like a pack of hungry wolves.

She halts, then heaves deeply. Soon she feels she’s falling, free-falling while everything else is numb.

Then there’s silence. Her much needed silence.

Freedom finally becomes her.

A thousand and one unwritten words. A seemingly endless emotional roller coaster ride, up, down, up and down again. Memories of traveling with good people and friends. An attempt to resolve an alleged conflict at work. Oh well, it’s been ages since I’ve neglected this blog. It’s been months since this spot ceased to be an emotional punching bag. And to my surprise, wordpress has a new look….from my dashboard. So let me not bore you with the blow-by-blow account of what’s happening in my life the past decades (as it may seem to me).

For the past months, I’ve learned that: 

• Losing somebody is still as painful as letting somebody go. Then how you’d wish that the person is just somewhere else than dead.
• Family members and relatives are like falling leaves. They wither each and every time you remember to count.
• From time to time, your tear ducts start to fill when you suddenly realize you’re missing the one who just left.
• This year, I’ve traveled to four countries three times in a row. Though this has depleted my wallet and a bulk of my savings, the memories and the bonding moments with wonderful people can never be replaced. 
• Sometimes, you’ll never know who’s back stabbing you. It’s like looking for a needle in a haystack, blindfolded. And I find it hard to trust people, especially in the corporate world. 

Ok, so there.  Does it make any sense at all? 

Para kang palitaw…lulubog, lilitaw.

Para kang bula, na bigla na lang mawawala. 

Para kang hangin na di mapukaw sa tingin. 

Para kang payaso na minsan nakangiti, minsan nakanguso.

Ano ba talaga ang papel mo sa buhay ko? 

Dadating ka ng wala sa panahon, at

bigla na lang maglalaho kung kelan mo gusto.

Tama na. Ayoko na.  Isa kang palaisipan.

Hindi ako ipinanganak para maging pangalawa sa buhay mo. 

Dahil kung tutuusin, wala kang papel sa mundo ko.

They say blood is thicker than water, but then I realize, there are times when you’d prefer water over blood when your so-called “family” inflicts deep wounds into your skin.

And even if these wounds heal, traces of the trauma are still there….bloodstains and all.