What I Hate (and Love) about Facebook

I admit. I can’t end the day without logging on to my FB account. Better yet, I can’t spend the day without peeking at my mobile phone for the news feed, and even can’t control my itchy finger urging to scroll down once that red color appears on my notifications page.

I am a facebook lurker. But of late, I get distracted with what I see on my wall.

Excessive information about one’s daily life can be exasperating. Sure, I get the highs when I get connected with long lost friends, with special people whom I’ve always wondered how they were doing after not seeing them for years. And I am amazed how facebook can get us connected and updated even when we are not physically together. These are the times.

But, forgive me. Too much of the good things can get irritating. Passively annoying.

Such inordinate posts about trivial stuff can really get into one’s system. By trivial I mean – being late for work, how stressful your day is, what to wear for the day (or what you’re wearing) a missing shoe, buying a new toothbrush, having braces or removing them, a flat tire, an injured knee, going to the gym everyday, having too much to eat, playing with your pet, how you cried watching a sappy movie, trying on a new make up….and list can go on and on.

I get dizzy with too much face on my computer screen, those selfies I mean. One or two shots is excusable, but a multitude of them in different poses and angles, all bundled up in a collage, and worse, obviously photoshopped or edited by some phone app – simply outrageous.  Not to mention those poses in front of the mirror with your hand vertically holding your mobile phone.

It seemed mandatory to post the kids’ new toys, the new gadget you just purchased, your brand new car, new purses, your new chandelier, those pasalubongs, the gifts from santa. Endless ooohsss and aaaahssss and thank-yous.  I can tolerate a couple to these, but repeated, and almost habitual postings of such are just too much to ingest.

Then there are the hate posts. They are sort of guess-who-I’m-talking-about kind of thing, but it is so intriguing that you end up generating comments and queries about who and what happened. I don’t mind them at all. It is even quite amusing to join in the fun, of adding insult to injury. You get to solicit empathy from your cirlcle of friends, having an assurance that your facebook friends could rally behind you in your battles. But then again, too much of this could make you appear you are loaded with so much baggage.

But of course, Facebook is not about all these things. I love reading quotes, sensible quotes. I like getting pointers about traveling. Those baby pictures I am so fond of. Family gatherings, weddings, reunions, all things positive and worth celebrating. Everything in moderation.

With this I have come to realize that I’ve become a different person once I log in. There’s unsolicited advice on my comments, there’s disliking a friend just because of his/her posts. There’s even judgement just because of one’s status. I don’t like what I turn to when I use my facebook.

Perhaps its time to use less of facebook this coming year. Facebook has done a great deal to people who get connected again. But sometimes, it destroys friendships and ruins people’s lives.

There’s more to life than those news feeds and statuses.

And I can’t believe I am able to post again after a long time.


The L Word

How can some people use the word “love” so loosely. Like it’s a common phrase that you can say to every Tom, Dick and Harry. Mindless that they treat it as a casual remark to somebody in front of the cashier’s counter, or even to the person sitting next to you in a commuter train.

You don’t write it on a piece of scratch paper, more so on a post-it note.

You don’t put a smiley or an exclamation point on it, nor in a hurried, informal handwriting.

It’s not casually handed over to a messenger.

You don’t address it to somebody whom you have a past some 18 years ago. More so if you’ve just reconnected and is trying to build a genuine friendship inspite of.

More importantly, you don’t dare write it to somebody else other than your wife.

For freakin’ goodness sake, stop playing games already.

Of Lovers and Friends

Today, I marveled about relationships.

About breaking the chain of friendship just as finding ways to reconnect with a past love.

About friends becoming strangers and ex-lovers turning into real friends.

Realizing that friends, just like lovers, can also sail through rough seas.

And it’s a whole caboodle of emotional and rational process before both parties give up and finally come to terms with each other’s faults and flaws.

Just like two people in love…. it takes two to tango.

It. Has. To. Work. Both. Ways.

Of Doctors and Politicos

For me, doctors are people clad in white robes, who walk around hospital corridors with stethoscopes hanging around their neck. You consult them for an ailment, they write something on a piece of paper and then charge you a consultation fee.

When the stars seem to be not on your side, they’d recommend confinement in a hospital, visits you everyday with junior residents tailing them wherever they go, and after they put their stethoscopes on every part of your body  as you breathe, you anxiously wait for the day when they would finally recommend discharge from the hospital.

Only after paying their almost exorbitant professional fees and hospital bills that you come close to cursing them.

But still, we owe our lives to these doctors. Perhaps some of them deserve the respect, while some of them are no different from extortionists.

Politicians and Doctors? I see no difference at all.

Keeping the Flames

….of friendship that is.

Keeping it and trying NOT to drift apart can be as difficult as saving your relationship. Especially when: you feel like you don’t share the same interests anymore; when your priorities are different from theirs; when you meet-up and you seem to run out of things to talk about; or you feel like you have a lot of catching up to do but you have no idea when and where to start.

And worse, when you’ve become complete strangers.

There’s nothing more painful than having a friendship that is at the brink of falling apart.

But then again, I still believe that it’s never too late. There are friendships who are worth saving, especially those that have endured difficult times. But the question is, do they feel like saving the friendship too?

Well, it takes two (or maybe three) to tango.

30 Seconds

I froze as I saw his name flashing on my screen.  His sentences are like a blabber to me. No, nothing much registered except that he’s busy.

He seemed to talk endlessly. While with great effort, I tried not to sound bereft of speech. But his words outnumbered mine.

Then he hung up. Andit felt like there’s a sting running from my head down to my feet.

I just realized how all those years can easily come back in just 30 seconds.

30 freakin’ seconds.