Excerpts from: Walter Kirn on Relationships:
“They tend to go out on the town in pairs, I’ve noticed: the conventionally pretty one, all dolled up and shining, and her average-looking friend, who’s barely had time to do her hair. The pretty one, I have a hunch, is generally the instigator. With the plainer one by her side, she thinks she’ll look even more dazzling than usual. And the plainer one goes along with the idea because she wants to bask in her friend’s glow—or maybe because she just doesn’t get out much. I don’t know. I do know, however, that when I spot them and manage to push in beside them at the bar, I often feel sorry for the pretty one. Because she’s about to learn that she’s not the pretty one”
“I like her friend. Her friend has hands that are too big for her wrists. And when she gestures with them to make a point, I’m mesmerized by their power, their vitality. I’d like to hold them. To feel them on my back. I bet they’re warm-much warmer than the pretty one’s which are small and slender but look icy.”
“…..in the fairy tale, Cinderella goes unnoticed until her appearance is magically transformed to match little girls’ ideal of loveliness, which they grow up believing is little boys’ ideal of loveliness. This belief is wrong, though. And I should know, because I’m a grown-up boy who longs for Cinderellas who’ve never touched a pair of glass slippers—who are plenty alluring barefoot. I prefer them to some princesses I’ve danced with. I prefer them—these unconventional-looking women who too frequently call themselves ugly or imperfect when they ought to call themselves perfecting—because their transformations are still ongoing.….”
I wonder how many men look at women in the same way Walter Kirn does. And I wonder too, how many of us, plain-looking women think and see ourselves the way this man does.
I marvel at the thought of how typical masculine whim transcends physical attraction. When being beautiful doesn’t mean having to spend hours on end standing in front of the mirror, doing all things imaginable – in an attempt to look pleasant in the eyes of the opposite sex or even in the eyes of people around you.
It is so true that we women tend to internally scoff at ourselves as we are driven by a penchant for having an appearance of perfect geometric proportions. We’d always find flaw in every inch of our body – from the head down to our toes. And we’d do anything and everything just get what we “physically” want.
How great it is to think however, that heads turn to your direction not because you are the sexiest woman on the face of the earth, rather it is quite endearing to sense and spot you as a transformation in progress….
And yes, we ought to call ourselves perfecting.