Plain, Dull and Beautiful

Excerpts from: Walter Kirn on Relationships:

“They tend to go out on the town in pairs, I’ve noticed: the conventionally pretty one, all dolled up and shining, and her average-looking friend, who’s barely had time to do her hair. The pretty one, I have a hunch, is generally the instigator. With the plainer one by her side, she thinks she’ll look even more dazzling than usual. And the plainer one goes along with the idea because she wants to bask in her friend’s glow—or maybe because she just doesn’t get out much. I don’t know. I do know, however, that when I spot them and manage to push in beside them at the bar, I often feel sorry for the pretty one. Because she’s about to learn that she’s not the pretty one”

“I like her friend. Her friend has hands that are too big for her wrists. And when she gestures with them to make a point, I’m mesmerized by their power, their vitality. I’d like to hold them. To feel them on my back. I bet they’re warm-much warmer than the pretty one’s which are small and slender but look icy.”

“…..in the fairy tale, Cinderella goes unnoticed until her appearance is magically transformed to match little girls’ ideal of loveliness, which they grow up believing is little boys’ ideal of loveliness. This belief is wrong, though. And I should know, because I’m a grown-up boy who longs for Cinderellas who’ve never touched a pair of glass slippers—who are plenty alluring barefoot. I prefer them to some princesses I’ve danced with. I prefer them—these unconventional-looking women who too frequently call themselves ugly or imperfect when they ought to call themselves perfecting—because their transformations are still ongoing.….”

I wonder how many men look at women in the same way Walter Kirn does. And I wonder too, how many of us, plain-looking women think and see ourselves the way this man does.

I marvel at the thought of how typical masculine whim transcends physical attraction. When being beautiful doesn’t mean having to spend hours on end standing in front of the mirror, doing all things imaginable - in an attempt to look pleasant in the eyes of the opposite sex or even in the eyes of people around you.

It is so true that we women tend to internally scoff at ourselves as we are driven by a penchant for having an appearance of perfect geometric proportions. We’d always find flaw in every inch of our body - from the head down to our toes. And we’d do anything and everything just get what we “physically” want.

How great it is to think however, that heads turn to your direction not because you are the sexiest woman on the face of the earth, rather it is quite endearing to sense and spot you as a transformation in progress….

And yes, we ought to call ourselves perfecting.

All in a Day

I took these pictures in one single day. It amuses me how, by just looking around and taking shots (thank God for camera phones!) you’d realize how bizarre, frustrating and (at one point) infuriating it is to live in our beloved country.

Amidst the scorching heat of the sun, and the seemingly endless wait just to get hold of the government subsidized rice….throngs of fellow third world citizens greeted me as I opened our house gate going to work earlier this morning.

Then on my way to work, this “numbered” government plate on top suddenly cut my way. What’s more infuriating is, the vehicle is an SUV, which automatically translates to at least a million peso robbery from our taxes. And to add insult to injury, an equally identical car passed by with an equally “numbered” plate. So make that at least two million off our taxes. Yeah right.

Then after a long day at work, my colleagues and I decided to drop by at a nearby grocery store. So picture this, it’s rush hour, there’s limited parking space, every single vehicle is grappling for a parking space - only to see this. What the f__k! A car occupying two parking slots! And believe it or not, there were two security guards in bicycles roaming around the parking lot! How on mother earth did a moron get a way with this?!

Tsk. What a day indeed.

And Then There WAS One

Dark skin…big round eyes hiding behind those thick, glass spectacles…average asian height close to being vertically challenged….he’s no doubt plain looking, that chances of heads turning are quite slim that you won’t even bother to throw a second look.

And yet….

He’s oozing with self confidence. When he speaks the world suddenly stops spinning. He talks sense, and you’d realize that he’s a man of pure heart and clear mind. He is composed and generally calm even when everybody else are banging their heads on the wall. I could never imagine him losing control, losing his temper, for he always sees things in an unruffled way. He is simply “coolness” personified.

I spent nights on end tossing and turning, rationalizing things. Trying hard enough to determine what exactly is going on inside of me.

His wit and intelligence is just so compelling. Those simple gestures of genuine concern, of special attention - from simply asking if I’m okay to as thoughtful as - knocking on my car door while on the parking lot just to tell me to be careful when getting off my car. Aww….those sweep- me-off-my-feet moments are undeniably things a woman would fall for.

Thinking about him puts a smile on my face….not until recently when I found out that he’s taken. Argh. These men - somebody should teach them to wear their wedding rings all the time! Or maybe I should’ve tried to find out early on.

Oh well, good thing it isn’t too late. That as early as now, I’ve realized that there WAS NONE at all.

Ahhh…. such is life.

Etc. Etc. Etc.

Myanmar death toll rose to 15,000; China earthquake claimed 62,000 lives; Images of the RCBC massacre keep on sending chills down my spine; David Cook is the new American Idol; the saga continues with Barrack and Hillary; the peso is down again….jeepney fare is at eight pesos; there’s a whole lot of commotion over the Meralco thing……and this blog is close to dormancy already.

It’s been more than a month since I last clicked the “write a new post” button. And in my attempt to compose my very first entry after a long time, random flashes of this month’s tragic events are the things that came to my mind.

Life seemed to stand still over the past few weeks. Feels like I’m being hauled by a centrifugal force as my inner world radically spins out of orbit. But as they say - life goes on.

One good thing though, my battle with this weight issue is giving favorable results….12 pounds gone and still counting! Thanks to Arthur S. Agatston, finally, I can see a glimmer of hope in my eternal crusade against fat.

There’s so much to write about….but I guess my blogging habit needs to get all warmed up again before I can truly, fully set off to normal blogging mode.

Thank you my blogfriends for bearing with me. Well, I guess I’m back….as in SEXY back. Lolol!!!!

Hanging On

I am currently overwhelmed with the surge of thoughts running inside my head, that I find it difficult to pin down to this very spot.

It’s a bit of a challenge to freeze these thoughts and put it all together in one comprehensible, logical post. I tried. But it just didn’t work. I had several drafts landing in the trash….and if I keep on trying, heaps of rubbish will be sent to the bin.

So I find it best to return when this uproar has finally settled down.

I will be back. Definitely.

To Quit or not to Quit

Trying to quit smoking is proving to be such a daunting task. I’m on my second, smoke-free week and it feels like I’m being tortured on some secluded asylum where my daily food supply consists of a massive dosage of tranquilizers while I’m clad with a full straight jacket 24/7.

I’ve been consistently craving on whatever kind of food there is - regardless if I’m full or not; It doesn’t matter anymore if I had just taken my meal or is just about to have one. I consume the same amount of food no matter how hungry or filled I am.

I drool over street food and my mouth never tires of chewing day in and day out. My sweet tooth seem to have reached an all time high as I munch on chocolate bars even at the wee hours of the morning. Now I won’t be surprised when, sooner or later the weighing scale would tell me I have reached 200 lbs! Argh.

I have come up with several theories concerning this sudden change of eating habits, coupled of course with my daily dose of friendly conversations with friends and colleagues who were quite beleaguered with this absurd gobbling attitude.

First it’s got something to do with my decision to stop smoking. True or not, but I have first hand accounts on people who suddenly ballooned to as high as 200 lbs. as soon as they quit smoking. Second, dosages of steroids injected during my hospital “sojourn” heightened my food cravings, again I haven’t researched if this is indeed true. Then there’s PMS Now this, is proven to be true but I’m still two or three weeks before my schedule. Meaning, the cravings should come a couple of weeks after. Argh.

Now I’m thinking, should I continue this non-smoking streak and be prepared to have a drastic weight change or should I give up and smoke again to deal with my food cravings?

On second thought, maybe I’d continue this task and deal with my weight issues later.

Sigh. Such a price to pay .

In Sickness and in Health

My four-day confinement at the hospital made me realize some things.

• Regardless if your taste buds are working well or not, hospital food will always be blah, bland. And while you are on your way to recover your health and your appetite, the mere sight of the hospital’s food ration would make you not want to eat again.
• Having an IV tube attached in the back of your hand for four days is a challenge for you to think of ingenuous ways to do things. Like going to the bathroom, changing your top, washing yourself, brushing your teeth, eating with one hand, etc. etc. But believe me, it gets easier overtime. I quite got the hang of it faster than I thought.
• While hospital beds are fairly comfy to lay on, you will never have a good, sound sleep. Most of the time, when you are about to catch Mr. Sandman here, the door will open and somebody will get your blood pressure, or give your meds, or check your temperature or whatever the doctor says.
• In times of sickness, your family WILL always be with you. My mom and pop, oldies that they are, stayed with me all throughout my ordeal. Seeing them take care of me while I’m stuck in the hospital bed pulled my heartstrings. Love you Mom and Pop!
• The television is a sure fire way to keep you company while you wrestle with boredom. I spent days on end flipping thru cable channels and even Kapamilya and Kapuso networks. Gabby Concepcion is all over the boob tube. But he’s as gorgeous and hot as he was 13 years ago!
• Steroids and antibiotics can make you feel bloated and wobbly.

All these, because of Pneumonitis. And I wouldn’t want to go back to the hospital ever again.

So I’m seriously thinking, maybe I should stop smoking already.